Castle Episode: Demons 10/24/11 STRONG FOUNDATION

I am not what you would call a die-hard "FAN" of ABC's Castle...until recently. I knew the premise of the show, but I did not follow the storyline until last spring when I saw the season finale:  instant FAN!  Anyway, there was an old rerun that caught my attention and is the subject for this blog posting. 

In the 10/24/11 Demons episode, Castle and Beckett investigate the murder of a ghost hunter named Jack Sinclair who was looking into a haunting at a New York mansion. As the two delve deeper into the case, Castle supports the idea that supernatural powers could be at work, while Beckett looks for a non-supernatural reason for the murder. While looking at the haunted mansion, Castle and Beckett discover a secret alcove where the killer killed Jack Sinclair, putting Castle's 'demon' theory to rest. http:/imdb.com

This is where I woke up and started to pay attention: things that make you go hmmm

Castle tells his girlfriend Kate Beckett, "...any relationship is going to have challenges, but if it doesn't work out, it's usually not because of the challenges, it's usually because the relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with..."  

Having renewed my marriage vows just a few weeks prior to watching this episode, I was quite intrigued and reflective about this comment. My husband and I are both children of divorced parents, so staying married is always a conversation and is always on the forefront of our minds. . .well on the forefront of my mind...LET'S KEEP IT REAL!

I had just watched our wedding video for our anniversary, specifically recalling the part of the reception when the couple starts dancing with the new bridge and groom. The DJ asks couples to come to the floor who have been married 1 year, then 2 years, then 5, 10, 15, and 20 etc.  I remember saying to my husband, "Wow honey, they are divorced, and so are they, and so are they, and so are they!" It was mind blowing to conclude that most of the couples who danced at our wedding are now divorced. I thought to myself, "Is my marriage going to last the test of time? I'm sure we've had the same challenges as these couples; so why did we make it a bit further then they did?"

HOWEVER, the couple who had been married 30+ years, well yes  are still married! My mind still would not rest and I contemplated yet again, "DO WE have whatever THEY have to get to that point?" Well, exactly what is it that THEY have that keeps them married? Is it the decision to stay together no matter what? Is it a decision to SETTLE due to exhaustion of battling? How about a resolution that separating at this point is useless, but I really don't want to be here? 

What is your marriage built on?  

Is your relationship built on trust? Respect? Honor? Or Lies? Untruths? Hurts?

Is your marriage strong enough to accept your partner's temperament? Flaws? Issues? Are you able to be your true selves in your marriage? Are you lying to your spouse because you are fearful of his/her reaction to the truth? Have you lied about being ok with something your spouse told you, but you really are not ok? Let's go for the jugular: Can your marriage handle your spouse revealing an Emotional Affair outside of the marriage? How about A Sexual Affair?  What is crazy, is you may not know these answers because you may not know how strong your marriage is. We all think these things will not happen or that our marriage is stronger than the circumstance. But more often than not, we find ourselves getting not just hit, but knocked down from situations that have occurred in our marriage that REALLY make couples  wonder if they can survive.

The Bible so clearly tells us in Matthew 7:24-27 that the wise man built his house upon a rock. Jesus says the difference is the foundation. I think that’s true in marriage. If we build on Jesus then we must build on LOVE. Mark 12- love is not always OOEY GOOEY I LOVE YOU POOKIE love. People, even spouses can come and go. If we do not our marriages on a strong foundation we will only have a string of events with that person and not a true relationship. We won't have the strong foundation there for us when we get knocked down or  when we need something BIGGER THAN OURSELVES because we might feel like we just cannot do this walk of marriage anymore.

 Mark 12:30-31 King James Version (KJV) 

30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

If we love our partner/spouse the solid foundation of Jesus. Come on, you know this type of love goes well beyond our flesh. I don't always feel like letting things go. COME ON, I sometimes want to just slap my husband when he says something crazy! I have thoughts y'all, plotting revenge because I feel wronged, deciding to hold some goodness back...I get judgmental...COME ON Y'ALL. . . I knowI am not be the only one with these thoughts! Help me LAWD!

But thanks be to God that I get out of flesh and into the spirit and think about how God LOVES me in ALL of my mess. God will give me a good 'ole spiritual spanking and promptly reminds me I'm to serve my husband as unto the Lord... HALLELUJAH and  OUCH all at the same time!

So must I LOVE, truly love, my husband in order for us to have the STRENGTH to handle the CHALLENGES, because they are a comin.' (You have to imagine Yosemite Sam saying that:) THIS IS NO EASY TASK for the natural man.

I don't always feel like loving and putting in all of this work, but I don't have to feel it. God has been too good to me and blessed me with someone who actually wants to be in my presence. I must love him as I want him to love me. I must love him as GOD loves me. I just don't see any other way to have the strength as Castle mentioned outside of a personal will to do so...I don't trust my will to always feel like doing that. Fortunately, I will always trust my heart, mind, and soul to serve and honor God and His Word. That is the SOURCE of the STRENGTH, the FOUNDATION, the LOVE. 

LESSON LEARNED:

When you survive the challenges, it will make you stronger. You will realize you did not go through this  valley experience by yourself ,then you  thank and praise God for being a deliverer. You and your spouse will have a stronger foundation with each other knowing that God can do it. THEN you will have faith and Godly confidence that HE can do it again. So, let us get about the business and hard work of building, rebuilding, or weatherproofing our relationships so we will have the strength to endure. 

love, peace, and hair grease, KIM